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Monday, December 14

Almost there.

December 14, 2015 FJ

One week left. I can’t wait to wake up and sleep without thinking the academe. I can’t wait to get out of the office earlier and spending the whole night, without worrying and thinking how to study the next day. I can’t wait to bring back the lazy me, the one who excessively stays in bed and watch anime until the next day.

It feels like it was just yesterday, the day that I can’t wait to enter the Jurrasic Park, the day I can’t wait to meet new people, the day I can’t wait to read the provisions, the crave of reading mountain of annotations and jurisprudence, and the day I felt the nervousness and the fear of feeling the hell upon my feet. And now, here I am, hoping to leave soon, not that I want to quit but to take some recess, or to finish everything and forever get trapped to the field.

After all the almost five months of my first year tour in the park, I feel like giving up, but whatever the reason I can think of, I know that it is not enough as an exchange to the big dream I’ve always wanted to be. Leaving my comfort zone, is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and feeling the struggle every single day making it more the best-est, making my journey more adventurous. challenging, exciting and the happiest.

Despite of the bad to worse things I have encountered, nothing beats the memories it produced. Something to keep, something to cherish and something to be more thankful for. I feel blessed more than ever and it will never be possible without the One who gives me strength, to the new people I met during the journey and added good memories to my life (cheers for more) and to those who stayed from the first day and staying to complete the story line.

Hence, Thank you. :)

Saturday, December 5

Saved and recap

December 05, 2015 FJ

I hate it when I found myself reading our conversation and wondering, “WHY THE HECK?!” It still hurts that after all what I’ve done & what you’ve said, we still end up nothing and you leave without an apology.

I am not demanding for an apology but all I want is a peace ending. I have a lot of questions to ask, a lot of arguments to contest & I have a bucket of hatred to make you feel more guilty. Aside from these, I only want to ask you one simple question, “but, why?”

Anyway, this is just a brief of the drama I felt after reading our old & sweet conversation. At the end of the day, I know you will not give a single f*ck.

Friday, November 27

Hoping that this will be the last.

November 27, 2015 FJ

Recently, a friend of mine, told her story regarding a guy who she had mutual understanding with and she shared how she became happier after posting her last thoughts about the same and that made her satisfied as an addition to the “acceptance” stage and told me that she moved on with a smile.

“Masaya akong nagsimulang mag post tungkol sa kanya at masaya din ako hanggang sa huling post ko tungkol sa kanya” said-ish by my friend.

That came into my thoughts that, I also started sharing stuff about this “guy” however, it never came to the point of sharing my last thoughts. It concludes that maybe, just maybe, I am not yet over him or maybe I am, but I am not happy about it.

Being true to myself, I am still mad and guilty to what happened between me and this “guy”. I loved him for who he was, waited for him for months, and assumed a place in his heart. I can still feel the hatred gushing in my veins every time I see him happy with someone new, who I once wished that, that should be me. I am not going to be biased with myself but I know and I admit, I have my own mistakes and guilt towards to what I have done to made him walked out of my life.

Thankfully that hatred never pursue in accordance with my belief that be nicer to everyone and let the karma do the bitch actions. I know that this is bad to think but I still wish karma is still around with him and waiting for the right timing to attack the best bitch shot it can ever made. Hence, I apologize but I am still a human and think & do bitchy stuff.

For sure, he is happier that I am not anymore around him and satisfied to what he has right now, as well as to my own life although I will not deny the fact that sometimes, I still think of him and hoping those days will comeback although I doubt. Nevertheless, I am ready to express my formal farewell to him but I think today is not yet the right time.

All in all, I thank this “guy” for the past although you act 80% douche after the last call that we had, I apologize for everything, and hope to see you around. *smiles*

Wednesday, July 8

Warrior of Lady Justice

July 08, 2015 FJ

Day 8: How do you envision your life being in 5 years?

After the fifth year from now, I AM A LAWYER.
It's always been my dream to be a bad ass warrior of Lady Justice.

YES, I can envision my life in five years with changed personality & lifestyle because of the culture and environment adaptation and being the bad ass lawyer.

In my first year, I can clearly see my life drowning in the bucket of caffeine & anxiety.

In my second year, I can still imagine my life drowning in the bucket of caffeine & anxiety and the change is starting to occur. No more culture shocks and adaptation is in the process.

In my third year, Still drowned but a little immune. Maybe, in VERY SERIOUS MODE. #ReadingsBeforeFeelings

In my fourth year, Not giving a single fuck but I'm still nice. Having the best time of my life, "PARTY HARD, STUDY HARDER" habit. nah jk. I'll survive. nearly in the end.

And lastly, my fifth year, ALMOST there! months of reminiscing moment & reviews and ONE MONTH OF FACING THE BOSS. Yes, Bar Exam. and BOOM, I AM A BAD ASS LAWYER. lol

But so you know, It's not all about envision, dream & imagination. It's all about preparation, presence of mind, persistence & a dream from the heart.

Thursday, July 2

Smile cuz YOLO

July 02, 2015 FJ

Day 2: If you could offer a new born child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Smile, the worst is yet to come. We'll be lucky if we ever see the sun.

Smiling is one of the best way to maintain the positive aura. In contrast, it is also the best mask to hide your deep emotions to maintain the positivity in the circle. Nevertheless, this facial expression is powerful that we can actually control other people's emotion by just stretching our lips with the bursting joy from our eyes.

Based from the mentioned statement from a song SMILE by MIKKY EKKO, smile the worst is yet to come - the time is too short not to release this simplest yet powerful emotion we have. You can make other's day by just giving them the look of joy & happiness. We'll be lucky if we ever see the sun - no one knows when will death arrive, no one can exactly predict that we will never wake up the next morning or no one can ever say, when will be our last 24 hours.

Be thankful & blessed that you can still smile & have the reason to do so. Releasing happy hormones & sharing positive vibes to everyone is optional but it can make a huge change to every single person you meet everyday, whether they're your acquaintance or a stranger or your friends or your family or even your special someone. Life is too short to sit in the corner & kill the positive soul. Twenty four hours is enough to make the world a happy place, one more time.

SMILE because YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE

The aforementioned statement maybe TOO mainstream & definitely not a really good one but its revelation is more than just the maintream. WE ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE EACH, though maybe there are some will say a contrary statement to the mere fact that we all have second chance but just like what I mentioned, NO ONE CAN PREDICT nor SAY IF WE WILL WAKE UP THE NEXT DAY. It is better to assure yourself & live your life to the fullest every single day rather than making yourself believe that you actually have another chance but you aren't sure of it.

Therefore, enjoying every single minute in this world is necessary. Stay positive, laugh, release that humor & create good things like there is no tomorrow and...

smile because you can change the world. :)

Saturday, May 30

30th of the 5th.

May 30, 2015 FJ

Page 150 of 365:

I can't believe that I am just one day away, am I really ready? This is my first time and I hope I can survive. I'm a bit scared and excited at the same time. I am in awe that I am getting near to exercise my ALL-BY-MYSELF-SKILLS.

Before I started my college life, it's my dream to live in a city alone to fulfill my "I want to do it but I can't" stuff. By the way, the stuff that I mentioned are the things I want to do but I can't because my parents said NO. When I was in my Senior HS, I did my very best and push through my dream to study in any university outside the province, I did everything to take entrance examinations. Hence, one day during my lunch break, my parents asked a permission from the HS Principal office to excuse me for a while and I don't have any idea why. I was surprised and they said, they need my 2 x 2 photos and still, I don't have any idea what is going on. Until my mom broke the surprised and told me that I am going to take an entrance examination in a nearby university. I feel a bit betrayed because they didn't mentioned or talk about this with me before they got the application but I have no choice but to accept the fact that my parents doesn't want me to go far away. So instead of feeling more betrayed, I tried to appreciate my parents' effort, since they're the ones who's working on my papers which is quite embarrassing because I should be the one who's working on it.

For assurance that I will enter college, my mom took applications from other schools. (the universities that I want to enter so bad) So, I did take the examination from the university they choose, although it is against my will. I didn't took the exam seriously and I finished it earlier than expected. Before the results came, I am still hoping to take the examination from other universities but unfortunately I passed and my parents stopped me to take other.

On the first day of college, I felt so jealous of my former HS classmates & friends because they're all studying and living outside the province. Every time we hang out I heard a lot of good and not so good stories about their lives outside their homes. Through the years of listening to their experiences, I realized that I am lucky to stayed in the province for four years. Based from their stories, living outside home was FUN because you can do whatever and go wherever you want, freedom is all yours and going home late is NOT a NO. Nevertheless, the opposite of it is.. LONELY, why? well, as I can remember, there is this one time my friend told me that when the typhoon came, he can't get out of his dormitory because of the flood outside. And since he can't get out of his room, the worse news about his experience is that, he forgot to stock enough food to fulfill his stomach needs. I tried to imagine myself in his situation and I thought, maybe I'll just cry at the corner. (LOL) Another not so good story from the source, there are times that you need to thrift yourself to survive for a week (well there are some where their allowance was only enough for a week but they got some fun plans.. so...) and if you don't know how to cook like your mom, then you'll die young (jk) but seriously, you will missed the 3/4 of your four years without your mom's special dishes and you're the suki of fast foods near your home.

In conclusion to the past, through the four years, there are reasons why God's plan is better than mine. A lot of things happened in my years in the university and I will never regret all of those moments that once I dreamed to happened in other places. Since I realized all those things, my initial plan after graduation is to continue my study in the nearby university.

And now, after the prologue, God revised my initial plan. Yes! This is it! One day left and I GUESS, I am ready to enter my FIRST DAY in my FIRST JOB and FIRST TIME to live outside the home. YES! my prayers were fulfilled and also, I am excited for my FIRST DAY in Law School although I am enormously nervous.

This day, I am starting to pack my home (lol jk) what I mean is that I am preparing for my life outside my home and I need more motivation and inspiration to full my guts because to be honest, I am seriously scared and mentally not ready to be alone and being not in my room for three days (that's maximum). Well, at the same time, I can't wait to experience and to exercise my ALL-BY-MYSELF-SKILL and also, curious & looking forward for what will happen min my life after a week, a month, a year, and after I graduate.

Maybe being INDEPENDENT will be one of the best decision I ever made. Disposing my physical, financial and mental dependency with my parents will be a struggle but it will be a great experience and I know, it'll be an amazing journey that I must walk into. One thing that I need to be thankful for, is how God's plan will challenge my patience and faith. There are maybe times that some part of His plans are difficult and depressing but at the end of the day, it'll make me STRONGER and it is the BEST-EST part for my life.

Our faith in Him from head to heart to toe is the reason why we're still standing in this up and down journey. He never let me down, I will never let Him go out of my life.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Thank You, Lord.

Sunday, March 1

I'm Sorry (Cage Match)

March 01, 2015 FJ

This is one of my favorite songs from AJ's music web series entitled, MUSIC LAB. I am a fan from the very first episode until the last. For me, the #MusicLab Episode 2, brought TOO MUCH FEELS and the outcome of the song was very amazing, not just because of the content & meaning of the song but also because of the artists who created it. For some reason, this is not just a favorite song, but a story behind the scar from the past that will remain an ache, lesson & a blessing.

I'm Sorry (Cage Match) by AJ Rafael ft. Lana McKissack

So now, we're stuck here in this cage, 'cause we're fighting all the time

and I'm feeling so constrained but i know the blame is mine

I'm tired of fighting all these rounds, all you do is knock me down

and now I'm broken on the ground, helpless

But I know that there are thousands words, I wanna say to you

So I'm putting down my guard despite the things you put me through

But, I...

But, I'm sorry for there's no way out

and I'm sorry for all my faults

And there's one thing that i'd like you to know

I'm not sorry for the way i loved you so

We used to have the strength to find the good and every fine

and all we have are just these battle scars but no more left inside

Should we give this one more try

'cause all we had is just one night

'cause I.. 'cause I...

And I'm sorry for there's no way out

And I'm sorry for all my faults

And there's one thing that i'd like you to know

I'm not sorry for the way i loved you so

I'm so sorry for i have to let you go.

FULL SONG: #MusicLab - I'm Sorry (Cage Match) ft. Lana Mckissack

FULL EPISODE: #MusicLab Episode #2

Sunday, April 13

You're still too far from me.

April 13, 2014 FJ

I am not excited to meet you, i am not even interested to look for you.

But i will be happy to have you in my life right now, i will even welcome you with a hug.

  Maybe you’re busy with someone right now or maybe busy fulfilling your dreams or maybe busy looking for your other half. It may be me or it may be someone else before me, i dont care whoever you’re looking for or where you are right now, i am willing to wait for you.  

Just always remember that i will stay wherever i am right now, waiting, preparing & praying. Waiting for whenever you arrive, preparing to be the God’s best for you & praying that you’re the God’s best, that i am waiting for.

  I am not excited to meet you, but i can’t wait to know who & what God has prepared for me :)

-A letter for my FUTURE BOYFRIEND

Saturday, March 1

Uhm..

March 01, 2014 FJ

He had someone. Someone he’ll never forget. Someone who became a part of his life. Someone who received all his effort. Someone who successfully changed him. Someone who made him believe to love fantasies. Someone who made him feel who really he is. And that.. Someone who made him cry.

I knew his story, I listened & tried to help him to get out of the pain. I watched him drowned with regret & tears. What I really don’t understand is that.. why is he spending his whole being to someone who doesn’t even feel the same way that he did?

I feel sorry for him.

but I hope he knew that.. I am here.

Sunday, December 15

Dapat!

December 15, 2013 FJ

Hindi ko naman sinasadya ang nangyari, nagkataon lang talagang sa kanya pa ko magkagusto.

Ok lang naman sana, kaso hindi pwede. Naintindihan ko ang sitwasyon, nararamdaman ko ang kinalalagyan at alam ko kung ano ang kailangang gawin.

Naging sarado ang utak ko sa mga posibilidad at hindi maganda ang kinalabasan, kaya dahil dun natutunan ko ng humarap sa mga posibilidad at tanggapin kung ano ang dapat. Maganda man o hindi.

Hindi naman ako nagkamali sa pagdesisyon dahil ang kahit sino ay sang-ayon. Masakit pero DAPAT.

Hindi ako umaasa, hindi ako naghihintay at lalong hindi ako humihiling na maging sa kanya. Kung ano ang hangin ng panahon para sa amin, yun lang ang maaring akuin.

May mga bagay akong naiayos sa utak ko na kung sakali man maging maayos ang lahat sa kanilang dalawa, dapat tanggapin. Kung sakaling kailangan ko na talagang lumayo dahil sa mga posibilidad na hindi magandang mangyayari, dapat lumayo. At kung kailangan ng iwanan ang nararamdaman para sa ikabubuti naming lahat, dapat iwanan.

Darating naman ang panahon na pagbibigyan kami kung para talaga sa amin, palagi ko ngang nababanggit, “Maybe soon is too long but the road will never run out of opportunities” at dadagdagan ko ng “..except when the traffic light goes red”

Masakit pero dapat tanggapin.

Monday, July 29

Rewind.

July 29, 2013 FJ

Noon, nagpapalakpakan pa ang mga tenga mo sa tuwa sa bawat araw na nakikita mo siya kahit na hindi kayo pisikal na nagkikita..

Umaasang hindi lang "hanggang doon" ang relasyon niyo..

Naghihintay ng itinakdang araw na magkikita kayong may kasamang yapos ng bawat isa..

Pero dumating yung araw na.. sabi ng direktor na nasa taas.. "Hindi kayo meant to be.."

Kaya ang dating inaasahan mo, iniwan ka at nawala na parang bula dahil sa mababaw na rason.

Kaya ngayon, ang dati mong inaasahan.. napunta na sa iba.

Pero huwag kang malungkot, dapat ay matuwa ka.. dahil sabi ni Direk, bibigyan ka nya ng MAS OK na ka-love team. Maghintay ka lang.

Para sa taong tinutukoy ko,

Salamat sa sa'yo at dumayo ka sa puso ko. Hindi man maganda ang nangyari sa pagdayo mo pero nawa'y maging masaya ka sa bago mong daungan. Patnubayan ka ng Panginoon :)

-Ako

Tiyaga at tiwala.

July 29, 2013 FJ

Madaming nagsasabing..

"SAYANG! Ang tagal niyo na.. Ang sweet nyo pa dati.. tapos mawawala na lang na parang bula.."

Nalungkot ako pero ngumiti ako at sinabing..

"Wala yan sa tagal at tamis. Pero nasa tiyaga at tiwala. Yung tipong alam mong kahit na nag aaway kayo at palaging malungkot ang nangyayari sa inyo.. Hindi sapat na dahilan yun, para iwanan ka at humanap ng iba.. pero yun yung may tiyaga kang maayos ang problema niyo kahit matagal man bago maayos at may tiwala kang magiging ok pa rin kayo sa likod ng bawat hirap.."

Oo, MASARAP MAGMAHAL pero sana matandaan natin, na hindi puro TAMIS ang mararamdaman natin. Dahil sa isang relasyon, lahat mararanasan lalo na ang PAGBABAGO. Kaya maging matiyaga at magkaroon ng tiwala sa sarili, sa kanya, sa relasyon at lalo na kay God.

Palaging pagigitnaan si LORD sa puso, buhay at relasyon ❤

sa LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

July 29, 2013 FJ

Sa LDR...

WALA SA DISTANSYA ANG LAHAT pero NASA TAO.

Mabuhay tayong lahat ng may ngiti.

#CAPSLOCKparaEMPHASIZE

Maikli pero meaty

Friday, July 5

Fresssssh(;

July 05, 2013 FJ

I'll consider this as my first day to step inside my HAPPY PANCAKE BOX.

Hindi ko aakalain na ito na.. sisimulan ko na ngang tunay ang paglalakbay sa loob ng panibagong chapter sa buhay ko. Ang buhay kung saan wala ang anghel na naging minsan ay kalahati ng buhay ko. Akala ko, hindi na ko makakaSurvive, medyo o.a pakinggan pero yun talaga yung feeling ko. Wala na ang mga bagay na nakasanayan kong gawin.. ang maghintay. Yun talaga ang pinakanakasanayan kong gawin araw araw, ang maghintay ng mensahe, tawag at tao. Walang araw siguro na hindi ko nakakalimutan gawin ang bagay na ito. Wala naman akong reklamo noon dahil masaya naman akong naghihintay kahit maikli talaga ang pasensya ko. Sa sobrang inaasam asam kong darating ng hinhintay ko ay nawala na lang na parang bula.

Sa totoo lang hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang dito mahahantong ang lahat. Walang naman akong pagsisisi, dahil naging masaya naman ang mga taon na yun kahit papaano at nagampanan ko din naman ang papel ko ng maayos kahit alam kong naging sablay din ako.

Malungkot at masaya, yan ang nararamdaman ko araw araw. Hindi mo ko masisisi, masyado pang fresh ang mga sugat at may araw pa din na hindi maiiwasan ang isang timba ng luha. Malungkot akong hindi ko pa rin halos matanggap at hindi ko alam kung gaano at ano ba ang naging mismong kasalanan ko para mahantong sa triple kill sakit ang nangyari. Masaya naman akong masaya na anghel ko sa ibang lugar at mas nararamdaman niya yung tuwang hindi ko naibigay sa mga panahon noong kasama ko pa siya. Masaya din ako para sa sarili ko, dahil kailangan ko.

Walang araw na may hindi nagtatanong sa akin.. "Kamusta ka na?" Posibleng sa dalawang dahilan, baka "nag aalala nga" o "naghahanap ng tiyempo para magkwento ko". Hindi ko talaga maintindihan.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko din naman sila masisisi, alam kong madami ang naghihintay at madami ang nag abang, kumbaga sa teleserye, sila yung viewers at palaging nag aabang sa susunod na kabanata. Pero anong magagawa ko, sabi ni Direk, hindi daw yun yung ending ng teleserye namin. Nabuwag yung love team. SAYANG NAMAN! Pero madami pa naman ang posibleng mangyari, maaring sawi pa ang bida.. malay mo naman, may dadating na bagong leading man o kaya naman, They're meant to be til' the end d buuh? hindi natin alam, dahil si Direk ang nakakaalam. Excited na ko sa ending ♥

Pero sabi nga ni God, May dahilan siya kaya niya ito ginagawa sa amin, at alam kong maganda ang mga dahilan niya. At paunti unti ko ng nasisilayan :">

Salamat sa kanya, sa'yo, sa kanila at kay GOD ♥

Personal Blogs / Personal Blogs♥

Wednesday, July 3

BINIGWASAN ANG UTAK.

July 03, 2013 FJ

YES, FEELINGS KEEP ON COMING BACK. Kahit ano na siguro ginawa ko.. WAG LANG MAALALA. Pero the more i force myself, the more na pabalik balik.

Idagdag mo pa yung mga taong paulit ulit nagtatanong ng kung ano ang nangyari at sino yung ganito?

SA TOTOO LANG, BAKIT KAILANGAN KO PA MALAMAN KUNG SINO YUNG TAONG IPINALIT NYA SA AKIN? at BAKIT DI SIYA ANG TANUNGIN NYO?

Nakakasawa. paulit ulit bumabalik sa utak ko. Oo, MASAKIT pa rin at GALIT ako sa ginawa nya. Pero hinahayaan ko na lang mawala.. dahil mahal ko siya at maligaya ako para sa kanya.. SAPAT na yun.

Pero, ang hiling ko lang.. sana maging sincere sya, dahil NI-KAMUSTA? Wala akong natatanggap.. pagkatapos nya ko paramdaman na WALANGHIYAIN at DINUMP NA PARANG BASURA.

Fck! Respeto naman. BABAE AKONG NAGMAMAHAL SAYO NG LUBOS hindi KALARO NA PWEDE MO NA LANG GANYANIN. :(

SANA KUNG SERYOSO SA KANYA YUNG 2taon na yun. BIBIGYAN NYA KO NG MATINDING DAHILAN PARA BITAWAN. Hindi basta kasi ganito, kaya iiwanan na kita at hindi na kita papansinin dahil WALA NA TAYO.

Tapos after a week, MAY BAGO NA? fck the hella sheez. Ok lang skin yung palitan mo na ko.. Pero sana pinatagal mo man lang. PINATAY MO NA NGA, DOUBLE DEAD PA. Tapos tatanungin nyo ko.. KUNG BAKIT ANG BITTER KO? fckdoodlesheezpizza.

MALAMANG! Sinong shunga ang magtatanong pa nyan kung alam mo galing sa 2yrs at pinalitan after a week? -.-

sorry, tao kasi ako, nagmahal at nasasaktan. KUNG MATURE KANG TUNAY, MARARAMDAMAN MO SITUATION KO AT MAY SYMPATHY KA. Tumatahimik ako, dahil ayoko magsimula ng drama at gulo.. dahil malamang ako lang naman ang apektado :(

Ipinagpasa Diyos ko na lang talaga ang lahat. Naging masaya ako at natanggap ko yung nangyari. MEMORIES talaga ang nagbibigwas sa utak ko.. MAHAL KO SIYA. Sana maramdaman ko na lang yung sincere bilang kakilala at kaibigan, dahil pakiramdam ko, PARANG JOKE LANG 2 years. parang nakipag-JACK EN POY. tapos iniwanan ako.. dahil TALO KO.

wala naman akong tutol sa relasyon nila.. At lalong wala akong balak agawin siya.. ang akin lang, MASAYA AKO PARA SA KANYA at MASAYA AKO PARA SA SARILI KO. mahal ako ni God at may matindi siyang dahilan kaya ito nangyari sakin. Araw araw pa rin syang kasama sa prayers ko. Sana maging mas matatag. Sana maging ok na ang lahat. GUSTO KO LANG MASETTLE.

Salamat sa mga nakakabasa nito. NaAppreciate ko na simula pa lang basahin mo ang unang salita..

Sorry, ito na lang talaga sandigan ko :(

SALAMAT SAYO AT GOD BLESS <3

Friday, June 28

Best ways to forget. (the Chichiritchit way)

June 28, 2013 FJ

1. HUGASAN ANG UTAK.

Paano? Maligo ka at tumawa ka ng tumawa sa nangyari. Kumanta ka ng kumanta. Sumayaw ka ng sumayaw. XD

2. BALIKTARIN MO ANG SIKMURA MO.

Paano? Basahin mo lahat ng convo nyo noon. asarin mo sarili mo. Tiyak babaliktad sikmura mo sa asar. sagaran! XD

3. KAUSAPIN LAHAT NG ALIEN.

Paano? Kausapin mo lahat ng baliw mong kaibigan. YUNG SABOG ah? Tapos guluhin mo yung buhay. XD

4. REFLECTION

Paano? Tingin ka sa salamin. Tapos sigawan mo.. "SHUNGA KA!" Tapos bulungan mo.. "MINAHAL KO KASI NG SOBRA" Tapos sigaw ka ulit.. "SHUNGA MO" tapos bulungan mo "PINAGPALIT KA" tapos sigaw ka ulit "SHUNGA MO!"

ps: kayo na bahala sa mga isisigaw at ibubulong.

5. ANG KISAME.

Paano? Titigan ang kisame, tiyak na ikaw ay maiinspire sa wala. Tapos iiyak ka na lang bigla lol XD

6. PRAYER.

Paano? Kausapin mo lang si God araw araw o gabi gabi <3 Sabihin mo lahat ng problema mo at ipagdasal mo yung mga taong nanakit sayo. Magpromise ka sa kanya na wala kang gagawing masama sa kanila at pagdadasal mo ang ikabubuti niya o nila. MAHAL KA NI GOD. Lahat ng hiling mo tutuparin niya at tutulungan ka niya makalimutan mo ang lahat ng sakit. TIWALA LANG.

TRY NYO KUNG EFFECTIVE SA INYO. GAWAIN KO ITO ARAW ARAW :)

Friday, June 21

AKO.

June 21, 2013 FJ

ISANG DAKILANG TANGA.

Iyan ang tingin nila sa akin. Oo, aaminin ko.. madaming beses akong nasaktan at kahit hanggang ngayon.. nasasaktan pa rin ako.

Pero, sa isip ko.. SIYA pa rin ang gusto ko. SIYA pa rin ang nais ko. SANA SIYA pa rin hanggang dulo. Iniwan niya ko, hindi ko tanggap. Masakit pa rin. Pero wala akong balak kalimutan siya..

Hindi ko alam kung anong meron sa anya na naging dahilan kaya.. "Siya pa rin talaga forever" ang pangarap ko.

Siguro nga naiwan na nya din ako.

Siguro.. nagmomove on na sya.

Siguro.. kinakalimutan na nya ko.

Siguro.. di na nya ko namimiss..

Siguro di na nya ko mahal..

pero ako, ito.. namamatay sa pagtitiis.

oo, oa. pero hindi ko din talaga.alam kung bakit ako ganito sa kanya.. yung sana malaman nya kung gaano ko na sya kamiss.. at kung gaano ka pa rin sya gustong maging buhay ko, siya pa rin ang pangarap. siya ang panginip. siya pa rin.

kahit alam kong impossible na din mabalik ang "tayo" at impossibleng bumalik sya sa buhay ko.. patuloy pa din ako magdadasal, hihiling at mangangarap..

dahil MAHAL ko talaga siya.

Wednesday, June 19

Less than 3.

June 19, 2013 FJ

Para sa'yo,

"Sa bawat bagay na nasa paligid ko, may kinalaman sa'yo. Sa lahat ng nakakasalamuha ko, ikaw ang tinatanong. Hanggang sa pagpikit ng aking mga mata, ikaw pa rin ang nakikita sa ibang mundo. At muli sa paggising, walang pagbabago.. IKAW PA RIN..."

Andoon pa rin lahat ng plano, andito pa rin ang mga litrato at basta lahat ng bagay na nagpapaalala sayo..

Paulit ulit pinapanood lahat ng kakulitan mo.

Paulit ulit tinititigan ang mga litratong naging masaya ka sa piling ko.

Paulit ulit pinakikinggan ang mga kantang inialay mo sa akin.

Pabalik balik sa profile mo.

at patuloy na nag iisip sa kung ano na ang pwedeng mangyari na may kasamang masakit na ngiti at namumugtong luha.

Oo, aaminin ko.. HINDI KO PA RIN LUBOS NA TANGGAP na hindi na kitang maaring tawaging "babe", hindi na kita masabihan ng iloveyou dahil alam kong di ka sasagot pabalik, yung makalambingan, yung makakulitan at makaharutan, at yung umayaw ka na at INIWAN MO NA KO.

Siguro sa ngayon, nagsisimula ka ng magMove on.. siguro, nakakalimutan mo na ko.. siguro, naging maginhawa na ang buhay mo.. siguro, tanggap mo na.. siguro, sanay ka na.. at siguro, masaya ka na ng wala ako..

Sa totoo lang, gusto ko talaga bumalik sa nakaraan at wag ng bumalik sa kasalukuyan. Kung pwede lang na hindi na magising mula sa panaginip na kasama ka, siguro tulog pa rin ako hanggang ngayon.

Ang dami nilang tanong at ang dami nilang sinasabi pero hindi ako nakikinig. Dapat daw ganito, dapat ganyan.. di madali, mahirap tanggapin at hindi alam ang buong nangyari.. at dahil patuloy na tumatatak sa isip ko lahat ng sinabi mo.. na may tiwala at patuloy na umaasa kahit na may 99% impossibility.

Masakit? Oo, sobra sobra. Pero patuloy pa din akong humihiling at nagdadasal sa kanya at parang di ko na titigilan pa.

Pero, siguro.. kahit papaano.. Masasanay din ako.. at patuloy na hihiling, magdadasal at magpapasalamat.

Oo, sobrang namimiss na kita at sobrang mahal na mahal kita at sa palagay ko, imposible na din yun mawala..

At darating ang araw na.. magtatanong muli ako.. kahit.. may 99% impossibility..

Siguro hindi mo din ito mapapansin o mababasa at baka wala akong sagot na matatanggap mula sa'yo.. basta, ito'y para sayo.

at alam kong sa ibang makakabasa nito, iisa lang ang iisipin at sasabihin........ oo, ako yun.

at sa huli, para sa'yo.. yun at yun pa rin.

Salamat❤

AKO.

Saturday, May 25

WHY?

May 25, 2013 FJ

You have your mind to help other people with their business but why your mind can't help yourself with your own? :l

Tuesday, May 14

❤

May 14, 2013 FJ

Believe in the extraordinary power of prayer.

Alam kong hindi ako bibiguin ni big boss ❤ magiging ok ang lahat, babalik sa dati at magiging normal. Pero alam kong madami pa din ang pwedeng mangyari. Magising man o hindi kinabukasan, THANK YOU GOD pa rin. Makasurvive man o hindi, THANK YOU GOD pa rin. Wala na next year o sa susunod pa, THANK YOU GOD pa rin. Maganda o pangit man ang mangyari kinabukasan, THANK YOU GOD pa rin. 😊

GOD's PLAN nga. May dahilan si big boss sa lahat ng bagay. Tanggapin ang kanyang plano at lahat ay posible.

Magtiwala, manampalataya, maniwala at magdasal ❤